Sometimes
The Slave in the Magic Mirror
The one who knows all and knows nothing
The one who looks like me
Speaks
She says…
“Hold”
“Do not do these things”
At times, I will listen to her sage advice
But others, I will not
I am stubborn and I am weak
I will cover the mirror in silk or in sackcloth
Lest she see me in my failing
I do the two things I have been advised against
On one side of the glass I sift the ashes
The finished things
On the other, I juggle the fire
The dangerously possible
***
I winnow the cinders and dust
I gather the splintered fragments
I try to arrange the broken
My hands are tattered in the attempt
The salt and the iron flow
But I am defeated again
I take up the jagged things
I score my flesh
With each painful carved note
I try to rewrite the stanzas
Compose a different song
To replace the one that was so mournful
In the end I cannot
Have I not been warned?
I take my battered red sheets
I hide in my prompter’s box alone
Buried beneath the darkened stage
***
Sometimes, on the other side of the glass
I disdain her other caution
I play with dangerous flames
I turn away and crave the different things
I gamble with that which is precious
Sit at the table and ask for another hand
I stare at the infinite possibilities
I fantasize about turning the crisp, smooth cards over
To find something new and beautiful
The Kings and the Jacks and the Aces
A fresh game of chance
But I hear the muted voices
I think of the inestimable treasures
That will not be found here
No matter what lies on the painted faces still held tantalizingly close
I cash in my chips and I run
Quickstep on my frightened gazelle feet
My handful of special wealth clasped carefully to me
Back to my room
To the covered mirror
I am shamed and despairing
I have failed again
I know better, I have long known better
Yet I am human
I stumble
Repeatedly
However
I still carry Hope
Hope says
“Go”
“Be better someday”
-Jessie Henry
7/17
